TV news graphics knead a spell chequer

The people responsible for the words you see on screen during local newscasts are not dumb.

They’re just doing too much work in too little time. The evening news starts at 6:00:00 p.m., not at 6:00:30 -- whether you’re ready or not. And when a deadline is seconds away, there’s not always a dictionary at hand.

That said, however …

They do make misteaks … um … mistakes.

Take the full-screen graphic I spotted (see above image) on the WTVR evening news on Feb. 24: “IN THE WEE AHEAD.” That just sounds creepy. What happened to the missing letter? Is there a “k” shortage, and nobody told me? Here are a few, just in case somebody needs them: KKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Then there was the graphic on the 6 o’clock news on WWBT on Feb. 2: “HOSTAGE SITUTATION.”

Or how about another one from WTVR on Feb. 5 in the 6 a.m. newscast: “HISTORICAL SOCIETY WANTS MORE MOMENTOES.” They’re “mementos,” not “momentoes.” The word is from the same Latin root as “remember” and “memory.” Try not to forget.

Sometimes the fingers fly across the keyboard so fast that things just get all jumbled. When the city announced new rules about trash cans being left out in the alley or front walk too long, we got this on WTVR: “RICHMOND TO FINE RESDIENTS $50 PER DAY.” Resdients might have to pay that fine, but will us residents?

The same station recently gave us “PRINE WILLIAM COUNTY.”

There must be something about princes that flummoxes WTVR. Three days later, we got “RINCE GEORGE COUNTY” on the evening news.

Or maybe it’s counties, not royalty, that are tripping up the much-maligned graphic artists. When it snowed last week, Channel 6 brought us a live report from “HERNICO COUNTY.”

The so called “grocer’s apostrophe” is making its way to our TV screens, too. You know what that is. Signs in grocery stores often seem to reflect confusion about how you make a plural out of a singular noun. So we get signs that say “BANANA’S ON SALE.” There ought not be an apostrophe in the plural of “bananas.” Just add an “s” and be done with it. No need to make it complicated. Instead, on the local news one night last month, we got “POLICE FOUND ESCAPEE’S IN HER HOUSE.”

Sometimes, it’s not the graphics but the pronunciation that trips up TV broadcasters. The deadlines are tight, and they just bluff their way through. That’s no doubt what happened recently when Mark Holmberg blew it, big time.

I like Mark Holmberg’s work. He goes places where other reporters are afraid to go -- under bridges at night to talk to the homeless or into the thick of the action on the streets to work a crime scene. He seems fearless. But it’s clear he’s never worn a military uniform.

His heart was in the right place last week when he reported at 11 o’clock on Channel 6 about the line-of-duty shooting death of a Virginia State Trooper. “State Troopers are a different breed...” he told us, “more like the Marine Corpse, really.”

By now I’m sure uncountable Marines have told him that the “p” and the “s” in “Marine Corps” are silent. It’s pronounced “Core.” (His report is preserved for posterity on the Internet. You can see it by clicking here.)

Deadlines: I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

It reminds me of the old saying about work product: “You can have it fast, right, or cheap.”

Pick any two.