The most miserable month

February really is the nastiest month on the calendar. Thank goodness it’s our shortest month.

The Romans were late in even naming February. For a long time, they considered the winter months to be nameless. Eventually, they named February after the Latin term februum (purification) because of an ancient purification ceremony held during the month’s full moon.

But knowing why February is called February doesn’t make the month any less harsh. It’s still 28 days (or sometimes 29) of nasty, cold weather that brings us ice, sleet, snow, freezing rain and misery. It’s a month splashed in grit and slush.

If, as I do, you live below the Mason-Dixon Line, nobody seems to have any sympathy for complaints about February. My best friend of 50 years lives in Connecticut. If I moan about 7 inches of snow, all he has to do is look out his window and see five times as much. His back porch temperature might be as much as 10 or 15 degrees colder than what I’m feeling in Richmond. It makes me want to just give up on being grouchy. What’s the point, when so many have it worse?

I like the fact that Richmond has four distinct seasons. But winter is my least favorite, and February is winter’s apogee.

Oh, did I forget to mention the flu? Where is it written that flu season and brutal weather have to go hand in hand?

A short anecdote about how much I despise icy cold weather. I went to New York a couple of years back to see the Thanksgiving Day parade. We bundled up and grabbed a good spot along the parade route. The wind was blowing and the temperature was just below freezing. Within 30 minutes, my nose was running freely and my fingers were stiff. My ears felt brittle, and I knew that if I touched one, it would fall to the pavement and shatter into a dozen pieces.

I gave up and went back to my warm hotel room, fixed a toddy and watched the rest of the parade on TV.

And that was in November, a month before winter starts.

Every year at about this time, I wonder if I will make it through to spring and live to experience another February. I have mixed emotions as I ponder that.

Now it’s snowing again – or is that sleet mixed with freezing rain? – and I have to bundle up and go run a few errands.

If you see me, don’t touch my ears.